What’s that?!

What would have become of me?

I had a strange experience last week Wednesday morning and I’ve been contemplating blogging about it. I decided to. As I waited at the bus stop eager and aware that I was late for work I rushed into the next available vehicle to stop at the bus stop. Usually I take buses, but this car came along with 3 passengers in it already, so I struggled with a man to enter the cab and I succeeded. There was a young chap seating in front and a young man and woman seated at the back with me. Along the way the driver asked for his fare and we all paid, the woman was the last person to pay and she gave the driver 50 naira instead of the agreed 60 naira claiming she didn’t have more than that. The driver stopped the car and went to the boot to get her things out of his car. The woman begged and driver came back into the car and continued the journey. As we were going he asked the woman what she has in the carton in the booth, the woman replied saying she has pampers in the boot…meanwhile we were approaching a checkpoint. The driver asked again getting agitated and telling the woman not to play smart on him, when we asked what the problem was, he claimed the woman has a carton of money in his boot and claims its pampers and if not that he went to offload her goods he would not have found out. Considering the checkpoint ahead, he wasn’t finding it funny at all. The guy in front then made a statement-’is money now contraband that a police checkpoint would be an issue’? I responded to the guy’s silly remark saying that with the way the Nigerian Police handle matters, you do not want to know if a carton of dollars is contraband or not and even if money isn’t contraband, it is the right of the driver to know what he is carrying in his car so he can defend it where ever if he has to. As that argument was going on the woman spoke up begging us not to expose her claiming she is a prostitute. At that point my interest was piqued ’cause I have this thing for rehabilitating prostitutes, immediately, I was already formulating possible ways to start a conversation with her. Her story goes thus: “Abeg make una no expoes me, I be prostitute before before but I meet this malam wey tell me say if I leave ‘ashawo’ work im go marry me. I don dey with am now for 3 years but im travel and just come back from Saudi Arabia with some white men. Yesterday im tell me make I go dress im guest room for the  white men and say make I use my body entertain them, say e no matter since na wetin I dey do before. I agree and the white men do me, come say make I do with their dog make them camera me. I gree, na im them give me 500,000 dollars. Abeg make una help me, make una no expose me abeg”…..WHAT’S THAT?!

Omo when I heard that I was angry. I was angry with her for stooping so low to that level and for being dumb enough to expose herself like that in public. I didn’t understand why she was telling us all that and what she meant by “abeg help me” considering that at that point we were no threats to her. When she finished with her story, the driver parked the car and told us to get down that in his village it is a taboo for a man’s eyes to see goodies and his mouth not partake of it! WHAT’S THAT?! I was struggling to understand what he was saying, when the passenger beside me asked what exactly he meant. He replied saying we all should get down that he wants to take the woman where he can drop her safely and take his own share of the money. The man beside me exclaimed saying that was impossible ’cause the driver could harm the lady and take all the money for himself and even if that doesn’t happen we all (passengers) deserve some of the money too ’cause if it was a bomb that was in the car and it exploded, then we all would have died so we are all going with the driver and lady to share the money WHAT’S THAT?!!!!!!! Who made him our decision maker? I couldn’t help laughing out. It was then it all dawned on me. They were a gang looking for either whom to abduct or swindle. At that point I told the driver to pack the car, demanded for my fare that I had payed him already and wished them all the luck in the world sharing the hundreds of thousands of dollars in the boot. Luckily for me and all praises to God they dropped me without any hassles feigning surprise at my decision not to go with them. I was so grateful to God ’cause it could have been another story from the one I am telling now. What if they lock the car doors and spray some gas to make me unconscious and abduct me any way or…I don’t even want to think about it.

Thinking about it now, I am thinking…what if I was greedy enough to want to share some thousands of dollars that I did not even set my eyes on, would it be dollars that was paid to a fellow woman like myself for sleeping with a dog? Jeeeeeezzzz, I have goose bumps on my body just thinking about it sef! I thank God o pips, I really do.

WETIN BE THAT?! JUST LIKE THAT THEM WAN CARRY ME GO SHARE IMAGINARY DOLLARS, I THANK GOD SAY I KNOW GREEDY, I FOR JUST FALL!!!